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Welcome
I finally got sick of using a template so i decided to stop being a lazy God and make my own thing... on a Frontpage template! No I don't know the defenition of irony. So anyway the new address is http://www.parables.netfirms.com/ Go there now you lazyass. |
Today's Steamy Parable
4/12/2003:
After reading the parable of the stapler, someone, lets just call him "Roy" said to me "you should of quit while you were ahead, jackass." Well I don't appreciate that, especially that invective. Simply uncalled for. Did God quit while he was ahead? Did Jesus? Did Bill Gates? Wait they did. Never mind that's not the point. The point is that here's a response to "Roy" in the form of a parable.
Once there was a very stupid man. He chose not to worship God but instead made fun of the almighty. Well one day he was run over by a truck.
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Today's Second Class (Yet Still Steamy) Parable
4/6/2003:
Here is the parable of the stapler.
Once there was a stapler. This stapler was used by man who was very important. Well one day the man decided to buy a new stapler. This understandably made the stapler sad, as somehow it had mental capacity and emotions. Well to make things worse the dog got a hold of the stapler, which became its new chew toy. Soon it was so chewed up one could not tell it was a stapler. (Cheesy sad music going up...). OK so the dog brings the stapler on a walk and accidentally leaves it in the poor harsh world. The stapler then died (not sure how seeing how it was never really alive.) Oh by the way the dog was stupid and died after swallowing some staples in the process of chewing the stapler.
Yeah so anyway the man represents God, who does with man as he likes. The thinking stapler represents Satan, who is mistreated by God and then abused by Jesus, as represented by the dog. The dog, much like Jesus, died for everyone's sins and was sort of killed by Jesus. |
Another Steamy Parable
3/17/2003:
OK I've been a really bad God-On-Earth but I have a good reason. A prophet works in phases of devine inspiration. I haven't really got any in a month an you wouldn't want me to make somthin up would you? (OK fine I was just lazy.) Anyway here's a new parable:
Once there was a chimp. This chimp was king of all the other chimps that lived by the river for some reason. Let's call him George. Well there was another group of chimps that live by the big tree. The king of those chimps said a few mean things to this chimp's dad and was now developing a new, top secret way to throw poo. Let's call this chimp Jacque.
Well this would not stand so George told Jacque to get the hell out within the next 48 minutes otherwise he and his tribe would continue to say "chi" repeatedly.
Jacque threw some poo at George and then moved to the pond.
Wow.
George is the anti-Christ. You think that he's doing something that's good but as it turns out he's lurring you into a trap to follow him to hell. Jaque is the devil, who is evil but no real threat, unless of course he has to poo.
NEW SITE- this one is updated
Oh My God! Yet Another Steamy Parable!
2/11/2003:
Once there was turtle. This was very slow turtle and all the world passed it by. It however continued to go west (no I'm kidding that's a bad knock on Grapes of Wrath). Anyway one day it was run over by a truck. Yet its shell did not break. It continued to walk on even though he was in serious pain. The next day he was run over by a Ford Escort. That day his shell broke and he died. The shell represents God, who does not falter under difficult tasks yet often lets man, as represented by the turtle, down over easy things. |
Ooo isn't that sexy? This scene is made possible by God. Isn't he great?
2/2/2003:
Once there was a pillow. The owner of this pillow bought a new pillow and decided to sell the old one on eBay (where all the crap ends up). Once he had already sold the old one the new one broke and he wished he hadn't replaced his old and reliable pillow with this new one. He then bought another new pillow. The old pillow represents God, who man foresakes for a newer and crappier one. When the new one lets him down he gets another new one and is trapped in a never ending cycle of getting new Gods.
Come on get the friggin pop-up blocker. |
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